January 6: Epiphany

XII. It’s A Wonderful Life

“The poverty of human understanding so often makes for an abundance of speech, for seeking says more than finding, asking takes longer than obtaining, and the hand that knocks has more to do than the hand that is open to receive.”

George Bailey gets to see what the world would be like had he never been born; I’ve been blessed to get a much clearer picture of what the world has been like with me in it. I’ve come to the same conclusion, it’s a wonderful life.

Unlike George Bailey, I’m not a nice guy and I won’t be saved by friends; I don’t have many. As the song says, “them that don’t know him won’t like him, and them that do sometimes won’t know how to take him.”

But I’ve been blessed by seeing who I am; we can’t all be nice guys, and I’ll keep seeking, and asking, and knocking.

Like George Bailey I do want to live again. I’ve been alone for long enough. But I’ve learned how to talk with you, and being alone with your perfection shines a light on my imperfection.

What does my conversion look like? An embrace of that boy that built a strong preemptive defense against an uncertain world, his sardonic humor, and his love of music, words, and food. He is not a good person but he is your creation and you love him.

Can I love him too? Will you teach me how? Is this the key to loving others?”

 “What wondrous love is this?“*

“We must ask it of you, seek it from you, knock at your door: only in this way will we receive, only in this way will we find, only in this way will the door be opened to us.”